28 November 2008

State of Emergency

It’s well into the night and you stumble upon songs from the past. The past just reincarnates with the melodies. You feel both the happiness of seeing old friends, and the pain of being aware of the fact that they will never return. You need to talk to someone, someone who had been to where you’d been. You need someone to alleviate that pain, or to share that burden. It’s an emergency, and you suddenly realise how much you miss not just Spain, but also the uni.

21 November 2008

The Impotence

You can live in a complete state of happiness when you don’t know a thing about this world, but once you are contaminated by the mundane matters, no matter how minute they are, there’s no going back to the good old days. You first wonder, then question, and in the end you want to do something. However, the reality is something far more complex than you’d ever imagined, and you find yourself shackled, unable to move or to act, but only to watch. Being forced into playing the role of a bystander is no joyous task, nor it brings any conscience to the mind. You see the injustice going on around you, you see the brave souls out there braving the elements fighting for their believes and their causes, you see the intimidation from the higher places, and you feel the urge to join them, to fight for something you can relate to. But you are also very aware of your current situation which impossibilitates you from carrying out any forms of tomfoolery.

You think to yourself with resentment of such perfect timing, how could this be happening? The situation is deteriorating around the clock, yet you're bound to leave for another land. A sense of powerlessness doesn't have to go over you to make you understand just how impotent you are. It's by no means like what they say in the telly ads, where a bunch of sunny fellas turn to the camera while dashing into the ocean waves crying cheerfully that you can decide how you want your life to be. I'm sorry, but it's just not like that at all. Sometimes the wave is just too strong and you get swept away so easily like blowing a dust off the table. Some congratulate you on your travelling to another country free of charge, while others think it's lucky to get away from the shit that's already been going on for months, but you just want to stay, as a freeman (in its relative sense, for you are never free), to fight for what you think is right. It's as disheartening and demoralizing as seeing what you've so painstakingly built over the years being destroyed in no time.