27 February 2009

Mercy Corps

You saw the few lines describing the projects you have with other NGOs in Central Asia - somewhere you always wanted to go because it fascinates you - you sat there staring silently and motionlessly at the monitor for a moment, romantically imagining yourself in the steppes, and then your thoughts found themselves back to the present moment, and to the fact that you'll inevitably leave this place before Christmas.

The connections you've made so far will be abandoned - thoughts like these make you wonder what is it you want. You then figured that you're not made for wandering, but staying, for that's what your heart desires. Nevertheless, you're also aware that you've experienced the same kind of feeling before, and not so long ago. You know that you are adaptive, but that doesn't lose the fact that the past stays within you all the time, and you sense the beauty because the beauty of a landscape resides in its melancholy. What's curious is that part of you longs for moving around, yet the other half aspires the contrary, it's as if there's a never-ending struggle happening right inside you and you're constantly bleeding for the wounds they cause.

26 February 2009

A Contrast

When you speed past them in your car the question just pop up: am I worthy of all this?

Quite often you see these lower caste of the Eskimo guys on long stretches of the highway pushing their carts just to get someone to buy their ice creams.

There're people bearing the sun standing in the middle of the road cleaning your windscreen, selling you water, fruits, beans, pets, steering wheels, sun glasses, cell phone cases, slingshots and whatever else you can imagine. There's no age limit in this booming industry.

You used to wonder why can't you do something about it, but then you came to realise that by simply buying ice creams from them don't really change the situation and that after a while you just don't see them at all. You knew the world is not fair, but there are times that you just feel more so than ever. You should rejoice at your good fortune. There's a life, you think, and here's mine, two totally different worlds coexisting within such a short distance. At this, you can't detect a trace of smile on your face.