31 December 2007

Fix You

In the classrooms, in T109, in T120, in L315, in the corridors, in the office, in the library, in the study room, in Frog Mexican restaurant, in MSN chat transcripts, in the night market, in sih hai dou jiang, on my scooter, the dew on my scooter, in your room, in Idoya's room, in my room, on the floor, on the self-inflating mattress, in front of the computer, my burin, my wooden apple with three legs, your blood, the bamboo dragonfly on your fingertip, Henri Cartier-Bresson, your text messages, the movies, your cheerful cry, your asking me out, Entre visillos, the pink mug, the note and the chocolate, your earflap hat, your lost dictionary, the concurso de teatro, the concurso de villancicos, in my work files, in ELE, in Es Español, in Concha, in your city, in the parking lot, in front of your place, in the garage,... I see you. But you are not there.

Sometimes it hurts so much that you can't help wondering would it be better if you'd never loved.

23 December 2007


It has been quite some time since it last rained, yet this afternoon shortly after I left the library, the world was covered in a haze of gray drizzle. Why do you cry, Azure?

The colour of the ground acquired a darker tone the moment it was touched, and before long, it turned completely dark. Above the ground, crow shaped clouds patrolled the sky and the sun was forced to retreat to the distant horizon and to the unattainable higher dome which was nothing more than a few unstable dots sparsely spread on the black shroud.

You looked down and saw people the size of ants going about their business. In spite of the loftiness generated by the vantage point, you are no greater being, for your every emotion was subject to the will of the one ant.

You only realized how much you loved her when it was already too late. It was too late. Your thoughts drifted to the past which was gone so swiftly like the zephyr, it caressed you and then slipped through your fingers like they didn't even exist at all. But you knew they did exist because their legacy was too much for your lachrymal to hold back another tide.

The Trajectory

Doubts stops you short from doing certain things, so does Fear. Yet Fear manifests in the wake of Realization which in turn rises out of the ashes of Doubts.

They say that Truth will set you free, but it's a step taken too fast and too far which doesn't take into account the important role of Fear and its reign on Decision which is the critical agent leading to the possible Liberation. It's only regarded as possible since you don't have the final say about things.

While you're waiting for the verdict, sitting in the front row alongside Fear and Decision, you are under the custody of the sadist Anxiety.

Then, after much wrestling with the devil, you decide that you have had enough with all this passivity, and Action would be then called upon.