25 January 2007


Water of rem’mbrance didn’t I defy.
To recollect afresh pictures foregone,
Since not time be rewound, embeded my
Mind be with the smile of your eyes at dawn.
Time and Distance ran futile with their scheme,
To rid you off your throne. Yet forgetful
That the heart of heaven reigned not supreme,
Its rays dimmed by your eyes lure and dazzle.
From somewhere the roar of an earthquake came.
At the cry, echoed the land with a blue.
With its great flame, the sky it put to shame,
Cons'quently, I was drown'd in waves of You.
With it I shall journey on till the doom,
For this rhyme stands even the greatest fume.

22 January 2007

Die Berliner Mauer

Been lurking around people's blogs, and my investigation so far leads me to the conclusion that no man is happy. Yet, they all look so merry. Yes, so joyful and animated, jolly good.

The other day at work they talked about one of the students losing control over himself and yelling something incoherent with a desperate and suicidal air. Funny how sunny he looked normally. But, after a second thought, it's not all that strange. When you make a mistake and try hard to pretend that nothing has happened, it just gets all the more obvious. No matter how good one is at pretending, you can always catch him off guard, provided that you know how to look. Provided that you know how to look at yourself.

Frustrating it is when someone tries to escape from this hell and his every attempts been met with doors shut tight, doors of false images, concived by himself and those around him.

In order to breach the wall, one must not harbour clouded vision for it only lures and misguides. Fear is another major benefactor in the construction and maintenance of this abyss, like a well-trained watchdog, it keeps one at bay. It sinks its teeth into you and leaves you bleeding to death should you tumble upon its territory. And if one fails in the task of breaking free, then the downfall is destined, it's just a matter of time and the way it is brought about.

17 January 2007

درس فارسی

Well, in two days the first semestre of me working as a teaching assistant is about to end. Though this doesn't mean vacation it does spell something else. I have to say I've had a great time with my students, although with most of them we haven't really done anything together yet, I'm not sure if I should maintain the status quo because only one more semestre is left (if I'm not keep working that is).

With this half year gone, the five months just transformed into a weight heavier than 16-ton and pressing me from every possible corner. It's the one thing that haunts me incessantly right now. I can't do anything without thinking about it. It is particularly disturbing when you're in a time trial against the clock.

And disturbing it is for precisely because of it I have to quit my Persian lesson. The other night I felt like shit when I walked out of the classroom with my final-term exam and Manouchehr wishing me good luck with my thesis. Well, the thing is, first, I don't like quitting, the act itself is demoralizing, but unfortunately, necessary, you just have to bow down sometimes. And second, I feel like I've been wasting his time for not studying in the last few weeks of the semestre. The hardest part is that he's a devoted teacher and you just feel bad when you're not doing your best to match up with his enthusiasm. He came done all the way from Taipei more than once, made recordings, Skype sessions after the class and things like that just to make sure that I can follow.

The last time he came down, if my memory serves me right, was during the documentary festival. Now thinking about it, funny it's already been a while. The weather was quite good back then, unlike the bleaky sky we have right now. Yeah, the grass is always greener, eh?

09 January 2007

Man's Crisis of Identity

The bookmark Gloria gave me smells like her, or is it vice versa?

01 January 2007

The Meanings

of some meetings are obscure and elusive. It's like driving in the thick fog.