She told me the other day that despite the fact that she already had a boyfriend she was attracted to me and she had a conflict inside. And I'm getting the impression that I'm getting close this time. But, with that thought I experienced a strange feeling, that I didn't want it, that I somehow cherished my state of loneliness, that I wanted to call it off, but it was too late and might very well already span out of control.
Can't explain why. Sometimes I don't know what is real and what is not, I don't know whether something that I'm having on my mind being something that I think that I'm really thinking about. It's all getting too complicated, and no, I'm not depressed or something at the time of writing this, just disoriented. I wonder how it has come to this? Too many things in my head that I can't distill one from another and my true feelings, whatever they might be, lie hidden somewhere, well, if they are really the true ones, that is.
I don't know which version of my conjectures I should subscribe to.
What worsens the situation even more is that I've been thinking about this girl Emma of Queen Victoria Market whom I've never met, but just couldn't stop my thoughts from drifting towards her. It's ridiculous, I don't know what I want. This moment I'm still here and the next I'm already there, it's changing so fast that I don't know if I should dance with it.
Maybe I should just go away.
Can't explain why. Sometimes I don't know what is real and what is not, I don't know whether something that I'm having on my mind being something that I think that I'm really thinking about. It's all getting too complicated, and no, I'm not depressed or something at the time of writing this, just disoriented. I wonder how it has come to this? Too many things in my head that I can't distill one from another and my true feelings, whatever they might be, lie hidden somewhere, well, if they are really the true ones, that is.
I don't know which version of my conjectures I should subscribe to.
What worsens the situation even more is that I've been thinking about this girl Emma of Queen Victoria Market whom I've never met, but just couldn't stop my thoughts from drifting towards her. It's ridiculous, I don't know what I want. This moment I'm still here and the next I'm already there, it's changing so fast that I don't know if I should dance with it.
Maybe I should just go away.
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