What's so incredible about your life so far is the fact that you only fall for those that will send you back into the self-pitying hole from where you've just managed to dig yourself out. Of course it's no comparison to the sufferings in, say, Darfur or Iraq, but it's just so fucking frustrating. Knowing that someone's dying of hunger, diseases, bomb attacks, or whatever somewhere in the world right now does little to help you feel a little bit better.
The outside world ceased to exist and a wave of tiredness rise up and enwrap you and you can only hear the music of sighing. It's pathetic, you know it, but you're helpless when frustration gets to you. Then you see that it's more convenient to blame the society, the world, life itself, and with every disappointment you become more and more cynical, and it goes on like a perfect circle.
You see a cockroach on the darkened floor, scuttling hurriedly to safety as you draw closer, and you think to yourself how easily you can squash that tenebrous piece of shit, no effort at all. In fact, all you have to do is to just lift your leg somewhat, reposition it, lower it and the bottom of your shoe will be juicy with roach rest. It's that simple. But in reality, you're no more robust than that piece of shit and someday you'll be the juice under somebody's boots, or probably, your own.
The outside world ceased to exist and a wave of tiredness rise up and enwrap you and you can only hear the music of sighing. It's pathetic, you know it, but you're helpless when frustration gets to you. Then you see that it's more convenient to blame the society, the world, life itself, and with every disappointment you become more and more cynical, and it goes on like a perfect circle.
You see a cockroach on the darkened floor, scuttling hurriedly to safety as you draw closer, and you think to yourself how easily you can squash that tenebrous piece of shit, no effort at all. In fact, all you have to do is to just lift your leg somewhat, reposition it, lower it and the bottom of your shoe will be juicy with roach rest. It's that simple. But in reality, you're no more robust than that piece of shit and someday you'll be the juice under somebody's boots, or probably, your own.
5 comments:
"What's so incredible about your life so far is the fact that you only fall for those that will send you back into the self-pitying hole from where you've just managed to dig yourself out."
Those can't do that. Only you can.
Hey, are you still in Brooklyn? We're heading up there (well, New Jersey) in October. We should hang out if you are. And no, I'm not hitting on you :), I don't go that way. There's another girl up there who's a blogger (www.womanhonorthyself.com). We could have a non-virtual blogosphere! We're both pretty anti-islamofascism though, so you may want to take that invite with a cup of salt, since the conversations will likely go off in that direction.
But you have to promise to be chipper :). You're NOT helpless over frustration. It's not a physical thing, only a figment in your mind. You've got the power to change anything in your mind you desire, but you've got to have that desire.
Your attitude would make for some fantastic songs. Heck, this post was a great and powerful song, if played to music. But, imo, it's no way to live. Choose to be happy, and you will be. It's that simple.
Sorry to be so preachy! You seem like a very cool person, and even though you are a complete stranger, it kind of hurts to see you so sad.
Come back to the light. You deserve to bask in it.
I'll take your silence as a 'no' :)
hey Kevin, I know, I know, some time has already passed since your first reply, the thing is I've become quite lazy of late, been thinking about writing, but my mind's just keep being occupied by all sorts of things. a bit restless probably. I'll do a follow-up reply later.
Yo Kevin, here's the long-awaited reply to your kind suggestion. Firstly I must apologize for the delay. And about the idea of hanging out, would love to do that, have no doubt that it would be fun, the only problem is that I'm nowhere near Brooklyn, I'm in Taiwan! But when I do visit the states one day, we can probably have a non-virtual blogosphere. Would be cool to actually meet fellow bloggers!
Think we should have some interesting time hanging out because I'm no fan of extremism of any kind let it be catholic, christian, islamic, ecological, etc.
Hah, I'm just now reading it. Yeah, I thought after re-reading your post about Brooklyn that it was more of a story than a fact. Too bad! I've had a wonderful time with 100% of the people I've met from Taiwan (well, 1 out of 1 people, but that's 100%!!!).
Consider this an open invitation for yourself and up to three of your friends to come visit. Stay as long as you like and we'll feed and house you. Bring your bikes! Trails have been blazed all across our tiny estate.
I haven't read your newer posts (I've been away from the blogosphere of late) but it is my sincere hope that when I do (after this comment) they will show you to be happier than you were when you wrote this one. There's SO much good in the world to experience. We do ourselves a serious disservice when we allow our daily pains to let us forget that.
Dang, now I sound like a preacher! FWIW, I'm not even remotely religious :). But I AM very pro-happiness.
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