09 November 2005

Less-developed Country

It's not that I hate them or dislike them, just that I feel a profound pity for them. The thing is there are too much misleading informations out there, they're everywhere, in the songs, in the movies, slogans, everywhere. And people take them as unfailing truth while regarding the real thing as cliché and precisely beacuase they're cliché, they are worthless crap.

For example, the other day I was talking with a friend of mine over the MSN and I said that love is the cure (by love I don't mean romantic love between couples) and my friend said, like that “love conquers all” thing? (now don't get mad Hahn if you're reading this, I know you are. It's not directed towards you) I can't say for sure what her attitude would be like when she uttered those quoted words, but I could guess from the letters shown on the screen that my remark was being held in contempt at the beginning.

I remember that a couple of months ago I said something like that the most important thing in one's life is not to be just happy but to know oneself and the meaning of life. I still think it's true, or most of the time. Sometimes I wonder if it's all worthy if one's not happy in the end (or the entire life) and dying with a blind rancour against the whole fucking world. That's nothing, no lucidity nor happiness. Just nothing.

When I meet people and discover that they're “ill-informed”, I sometimes don't know what to do or say because I do feel the urge to make them think yet I don't want to preach to anyone and screw up their mood and make myself look like a bore. So I just ended up saying nothing, sometimes I just smiled and walked out of the scene. I figured, if I force them to listen to me then wouldn't it make me the very same people that demand me to believe and behave like them? By being my truth doesn't make it the absolute truth. Some might say that I'm becoming more and more apathetic.

She likes to go to discos, but I think it's just a fucking waste of time. I don't see what's the good of banging your ears with that loud and lousy music and all that shit. Perhaps it's a way of forgetting one's problems in life, a way of paralyzing the soul, losing oneself in the adrenaline rush, thinking that it would have been better to have felt nothing at all, even if they don't realize that. It could be addictive because when one's in it one does not feel the pain but the excitement and the heat. And little by little it becomes “the way to go”, the “how it should be”. I don't dare to say this to her, but I do hope that she would realize that someday.

Can't preach to anyone therefore I can only vent in my blog of my narcissism. So I feel a profound pity for them, and for myself.

2 comments:

Pop and Tama said...

Hmmm. Interesting. I shall just have to explain later won't I?

Yokhim said...

Well it would be interesting.