03 December 2005

Fadeout

I stood by the rear door of the last wagon of the train that speeded back to the uni today, it was the first thing I did after I hurriedly finished my lunch after I went out to save my fellow countrymen. I've never been a big fan of train rides because I'm always sitting next to some bloody bastards instead of some pretty chicks. And no surprisingly, it was the same today, so out of deep, profound disgust and sorrow I just abandoned the seat the moment I pushed the door open. So there I was, standing by the rear door which was in fact just a steel bar and a chain. The train moved, it picked up its speed quickly, winds ran through me, I saw things receding at high speed and then I experienced a strange feeling. It was the same feeling I had when my old man waved goodbye when my mom took me to the train station.

Leaning on the steel bar I saw with fastly fading away images the place which was my home. And I didn't like what I was doing, a blitzkrieg with my folks being the target. I know it's hard for them to accept that their son should be so different. I know what they want, they want me to be respected, to have no economical problems, to be decent. But the discrepancy between us is so big that there is no common ground for communication and that's what leads to the current situacion. It is hard for everybody. I don't like it when they are complaining about me and talking about politics while my life and my love life, if you could call it love life, are disasters. But at that moment when I was seeing things disppearing I couldn't swear like I used to.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey Schuma :)
Thx for the worry in my space... but really, there's no need to. It's winter, it's cold and dark, exams are over me and I keep forgetting all the important things such as taking care of myself because I worry too much about keeping up. The only problem is I don't get anything done when being so stressed... but nevertheless I'm on my way up again (so it seems, hopefully, it'll last long enough to get me through christmas).

It's been a while, I don't visit your blog enough to keep track on your life... what've you been up to? What's up?

hope all is well
take care,
Christina
ps. got new mail-address (though the yahoo one still works...) and you could just go to my website and send a mail through the "mailform"... or just the yahoo-one... you decide!