25 June 2006

Will You Cry for Me if I died?

Two days ago(22) I was talking to a friend about going to see another friend who was in the hospital because of a car accident. Today(24) we went to the Intensive Care Unit to see the friend with whom I had the conversation precisely two days ago.

It happened at 0300 and 24 hours later he's still unconscious, they removed the tip of his skull so the increasing pressure inside his brain will not kill him. I didn't expect to see him like this. After I put the pink shirt on and passed through the second sliding door I saw a body breathing in time to one of the machines next to the bed. His eyes were open, but nothing excites the dead cells in the brain. I don't know if it was from the angle that I was looking at them, but they look sad, ultimately sad. A sadness I couldn't describe.

He's just 20 years old, I wondered if his family will regret ever letting him come all the way here to study and become a vegetable? But, what can we do about that? No one knows what's the shape of the next minute. At least he had already enjoyed his life so far, there're lots of people who have never enjoyed life. But it's a lame excuse, it doesn't justify the fact that he has to die this way or, if lucky, live out the rest of his life in such a state. Yes, you can say that he has brought joy to his parents with his company, but there must be a meaning behind all this. A meaning of the existence.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

All what I can wish,is strenght and believe. It is a sad story.

Yokhim said...

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Yes, it is really sad. I also feel sad. It is hard to find meaning, especially when the outcome doesn’t go with our expectations. We feel rebellious, yet in our helplessness we come to grasp that there is a superior force to which we all submit in one moment or another. We try to feel deaf to that Force, call it Tao, God, … etc. and we try to live as if it doesn’t exist, but it knocks at our doors through nature, readings, … in thousands of ways, and finally through the pain, through the death of our friends and dear ones …
It is not a frightening force for us, for Luis, we see God as a tender Father to which we can get close with trust because He can understand us (Psalm 103) When death is the best for us, he is accompanying us, to understand, to accept, to walk back to God from whom we departed for a purpose. The life of Luis has had a meaning, and it had a message for us. May be, thanks to him we find a meaning to appreciate life. May be it was the purpose of his life. While walking in Paraguay first and then, among us, he has been friendly, he did his part to smile and help others, probably some people learnt something from him, may be he fulfilled his purpose and is fulfilling it while he is in the intensive care unit. None of us would know to answer what way of fulfilling one’s purpose is more important, the snail way, the eagle way, the tiger way, the active way … etc. Just according to one’s purpose; this, probably, is not in our awareness.
It is just my attempt to search for meaning. Still searching more. I share it with you because we are facing the same questions in front of Luis.
I don't have a web page, so I don't know how to finish it, probably I have to be anonymous. But you know me and my email if you wish to continue. MS

blogagog said...

I'm so sad for you and your friend, Schuma. Tragedy is the hardest part of life, and for me it always ends up with me asking 'why are we alive?'. So far, all I've come up with is 'to make the world a little better when we leave it than when we got here.' If this experience gives you a better answer, please let me know.

Here's to hoping your friend recovers.

blogagog said...

Any news? I have a religious friend and she says she would be happy to ask her church to pray for your friend tomorrow if you supply his first name. I have no idea if that sort of thing helps (she insists it does, even if you don't know the person), but it surely can't hurt.

Yokhim said...

Thanks to all of you for your kind words.

Sorry Kevin I haven't been using the internet these couple of days. He's name is Luis. But I'm afriad my reply's a bit too late, he died tonight.

blogagog said...

:(. I hope you can see through the sadness and rejoice in the friendship you shared.

Yokhim said...
This comment has been removed by the author.